Wednesday, March 30, 2011
My Mom
First, let me say, I love my mom! I really do, but it is now at that point of time where I am the mom and my mom is my daughter. Mom is 76. Her health could be worse and it could be better. This picture is 3 years old, at our cabin in Mammoth. Since I have not been working, my time has been filled with taking mom to her numerous doctor appointments, helping her clean her place, helping her shop, ect. I am not complaining, but it is so hard to see her aging. Today she had her physical, and her doctor was very surprise that she was still driving, and had a very stern talk to both of us as to why she should not be driving any longer. I kept my composure, my mom did not. I could for once see through my mom's eyes as to why she was so upset. This was in her eyes, her last bit of independence. She has felt very bad having me take her here and there, a lot of my time devoted to her needs. She was afraid my family would resent her taking up my time away from them. This was not even close, my family understood, and asked how they could help. My hubby has been really wonderful, even though he and my mom really do not get along, he does care for her and worries about her. After my mom's doctor appointment, I took her to dinner at Mimi's, a place she loves. It was there I talked to her, a really heart to heart talk letting her know I feel her fear and disappointment of not being able to drive anymore. Her main concern was, who was going to drive her elderly friends to their doctor appointments when their family members were not able to. That's my mom, always worried about everyone else. I told her that there are people in town who were available for that, I would help her get her friends in touch with them. She could still visit her friends in her complex via her walker and check in on them, stop and say hi, drop off a book or magazine she has finished reading ,ect. She seems to find little comfort in this, she was more worried that so and so would not bother to go to their doctor appointment if she could not take them. I asked her to try and get some rest and I would check on her tomorrow, and we will figure this out together, she was not alone. I truly feel that God does not close a door with out opening a window, and this is my purpose in life now, to take care of my mom, with out the responsibilities of a full time job. My mom, she is quite a character, whom I love dearly!
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My parents are getting older too- My father will soon celebrate his 80th birthday. He was greatly relieved when the doctor gave him the okay to drive for another 3 years. I am not sure what he will do when he is no longer able to be independent. My father in law once said getting older was not for Wusses and he was so right. It is nice that you are able to be there to support your mom. I am sure that you will help her find the solutions to live as independently as she is able at this time.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you both,
Regards,
Anna
Hi Pam. Can you email me please... as your email address returned my mail.Thanks.
ReplyDeleteOh' Pam, I can so understand how you feel. My MIL just passed in January. I lost my own parents very young and she had been MY mother for the last 22 years. It was very difficult watching her go from such a viberant independant woman to someone who needed to be card for. She had always been very kind to me but developing dementia changed her outlook very much. She was not happy being forced to live with us at 89 and confused and angry with me mostly. She moved into the nursing home the last year because of medical issues that we could not take care of at home. Thank goodness for that for one reason, it gave me a chance to feel her love again, she no longer remembered the anger she had with me. It was so difficult but God and prayers made all the difference. I wish I could say that I never got tired or angry but that would just not be true. I blogged about it and my blogging friends helped me keep my sanity. I'm hear if you ever need anyone to listen.
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you so much for stopping by to see me yesterday. You made me blush with your kind words. I'm thrilled to have you as a new follower and am now following you too. Best of luck in my giveaway.
Hugs...Tracy @ Cotton Pickin Cute
P.S. Did you notice I have several giveaways going on now and more in the works. Please feel free to enter them all.
Sending a Hug!
ReplyDeleteYou write from the heart and you are a blessing in so many of our lives.